Looking Through the Eyes of the Enemy
by themuse87
Summary: The story of a demon in a hunter's world. She will burn in hell for being what she is. There is no escape from hell. Even if you aren't neccessarily evil yourself...and you happen to kill your own kind.
1. Chapter 1

The night was breezy and the air fresh from the summer storms that had ravaged the coast of California. That would be a problem, considering the demon's strong sense of smell. Sighing in contempt for the vile beings, Sarah O'Connor surveyed the terrain for a possible escape route. Coolly she shot a demon in the chest as his eyes turned black, with her shorn-off shotgun. Leaping from the top building, she landed awkwardly on one knee. Grunting in pain, Sarah took up her bike that was leaning on the side of the building. She would have to come back later, when things were less complicated. Panting slightly, she started her black motorcycle. Slamming her helmet onto her head, she took off down the dirt road. There could be no restful sleep for her tonight. Gunshots rang out behind her. She started to change course into the woods surround the old broken down warehouse. Keeping close to the road, she tried to recollect how many demons were now after her. She wasn't worried about being possessed, she was protected. Now out of sight from the warehouse, she swerved back onto the open road. Her plan, needless to say, was useless against the number of demons against her. She was only one person after all. Upon reaching the country motel, she speeded onto the premises, not caring for the customers she would be waking. Stopping the bike at her room number, she took her key from the duffel bag secured to the bike's rear bumper. She took her helmet and the duffle bag inside the room with her. The demons would, no doubt try to follow her. She would have to leave as early in the morning as possible. Sarah angrily slammed the door behind her. She was angry with herself for not anticipating the demon's simple yet smart plan to lure her into the compound filled with members from its own cult. She had walked into the compound stupidly, underestimating her opponent. That was the one thing her father had always told her. Never underestimate your enemy. That was rule number one and she broke that rule without thinking. Setting her helmet on the cheap pine table, she grabbed some rock salt and poured it around the door, window sills and even the little bathroom window. They might even send a child to assassinate her. They had done it before. She had to kill the child after she forced the demon to leave the poor broken body of the four year old boy. She had never forgiven herself for that. Sarah couldn't have any weaknesses; she was too valuable to lose from the organisation. Father Emerson had told her that himself. Double checking she had the room protected efficiently, she prepared herself for her samurai exercises. Plugging earphones into her ears, she took the long blade from its sheath in the duffle bag. With careful even breathing, she pondered the night's events as she gently lilted the blade in the formations shown to her by Father Emerson, excising her muscles and tendons all through her tense body. The demon said that she was too special to simply allow escape. He said that he needed her for one of his plans to gain more power. How she didn't know. All she knew how to do was to hunt these beings with supreme accuracy- an assassin. To her, God was nothing. He sat by and did nothing, while innocent people had to do His job for Him. He was just another excuse for her to get angry. She believed in Him, of course- that didn't mean that she had to like Him. She felt her muscles relaxed from the exercise, weaken and begin to buckle against the weight of the sword. Tenderly sliding the blade back into its sheath, she prepared herself for a long hot shower. She ended up having a cold shower- all the hot water had already been used up by other customers at the dodgy motel. Gasping at the icy water's touch, she tried to shower as quickly as possible. Stepping out from the shower, she wrapped a towel around her still wet body. Something was wrong. Sarah stepped onto the carpet. Her duffle bag wasn't where she had left it on the table. Instead, it was on her bed. She looked around for the intruder but found no one. She felt a gentle wind brush her skin. She looked to the door. It was wide open, slightly swinging in the breeze. Checking for danger, she walked to her duffle bag and searched through it. Nothing had been taken. That was small relief, knowing that what she did for a living was not what ordinary people would deem suitable for a young lady such as herself, especially the weapons that came with it. With what was in her bag to the inexperienced eye, anyone could deem her a terrorist or criminal. A danger to society. A society she was trying so hard to save. Slamming the door shut, she got dressed and hopped into the sheets. Shutting her eyes, she would have to get up early next morning to leave. Father Emerson would not be happy. Sarah slipped into darkness. She never dreamed. Not since the accident.

When Sarah woke up, she was covered in a light covering of sweat, trying to remember her nightmare. Groaning she rolled over to see the time. It was 5am. Sitting up in her bed, she was relieved. Today she would be leaving this place and hopefully never coming back again. Sarah went about packing quickly. After pulling on her favourite pair of jeans and a plain black tank top, she shrugged on her faded green jacket. She was ready to leave. Before leaving the room, she stood at the blind covered window and watched for any demons. After making sure there were no people in sight, she organised some money to pay for the room that she would leave under the door for the owner of the motel with the key to her suite. In times like this, it was safer to not have any association with anyone on the job. Locking the room behind her, she walked out into the early morning sunshine. After securing her belongings to her bike, she made her way to the managing office. It was then the hand came out of no where to grip her shoulder strongly. On reflex, she grabbed the man's hand and twisted the limb up and around, until she had him pushed up against the wall on his knees with one hand twisted up behind his back and the other too far away to even touch her. He was trapped and he knew it. She observed him. He was medium height, with light brown hair and blue-green eyes. He smiled up at her from the ground.

The man laughed uncomfortably. "Uh, sorry- thought you were someone else. My mistake," he said, the cockiness of his voice filling her with distaste for the man. "My name's Dean…I would shake your hand…but well, you got me tied up." It was almost as if he was being sexually suggestive, judging by the slight huskiness of his voice.

Sarah narrowed her eyes and tightened her grip on the man's wrist before letting him go reluctantly. She turned away from him to walk back to her bike.

"I don't remember your name," he said.

"That's because I didn't tell you."

He waited patiently. As if she would tell him. He could turn on her in a second if there were any demons nearby.

"And I am not ever going to," she finished curtly before starting her bike and zooming out of the car park of the motel.

She stopped at a little street café, not long after she had left the motel. She knew it was stupid to stay so close to the motel but she was hungry. Sarah was very disappointed. Already there at the café, was the man she had almost beaten the daylights out of. She watched Dean smile up at her, in what he hoped to be a charming manner. To her, it was repulsive. Dean wasn't alone. There was another man with him, sipping his coffee while tapping away at a laptop computer. Before she could remove herself from the café, Dean called out to her.

"Remember me?"

"How could I forget?" Sarah shot back. "I pretty much beat you up back there."

He glared at her. The man sitting next to Dean sniggered slightly and looked at her.

The man spoke. "You can sit down if you want. Anyone who can take Dean in a fight can sit with us any time."

Despite herself, Sarah smiled. It vanished at soon as it came when she realized there were no more tables. Muttering an apology to Dean and the unknown man, she sat down.

"I'm Sam. This is Dean."

"So I've heard. I'm Sarah," she shook hands with Sam before resentfully shaking hands with Dean.

She heard Dean mutter something under his breath- something about telling Sam her name.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" she asked curiously.

She watched with satisfaction as his ears turned red. "No, no I didn't," Dean replied reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

As Dean called for the waitress, Sarah sat back and observed the two men. They could have only been brothers. "So, you two are brothers?" she asked.

"Yeah, we are. How did you know?" Sam asked.

"Well," Sarah began, a mischievous glint coming into her eyes, "I knew because two guys sitting in a café together eating breakfast could only be gay or brothers. Judging by your behaviour, I knew you're not gay. If you were gay then it's safe to assume that you would be all over each other."

Dean spat out the mouthful of coffee he had just taken a sip of. After he had coughed a bit, he said, "Yeah right…though I'm not too sure about Sammy over there…"

Sarah laughed at the look on Sam's face, as he protested through a mouthful of pancakes. Looking up at the waitress she asked, "I'll have an apple Danish with cream and a black coffee with one sugar, thanks." After the waitress brought what she asked for, Sam's face turned serious.

"Sarah, we need to know something."

"Ask away," she replied curtly, propping her feet up onto of the spare seat next to her while taking a bite out of her apple Danish.

"We need to know what you were doing last night between 8:30pm and 10:00pm."

Sarah thought about it. She could tell the truth but where would that leave her if they were the enemy? She flattened her fringe calmly over the gash she had received as a parting gift from the demon. "I was washing my hair," she said finally.

"The person, who attacked me this morning, isn't that ordinary. And, you were the only person who owned a motorbike at the motel. We can help you. Trust me when I say that," Dean said.

Sarah took a breath. She still didn't trust them. "I was meeting someone."

"Will you tell us who?" Sam asked.

"No," Sarah shook her head. The conversation had gone far enough. Slapping some notes down on the table, she grabbed her apple Danish and walked out of the café. "Thanks for the seat, guys." She put the rest of the apple Danish into her mouth and put her helmet onto her head. Straddling her bike, she set off back to Lawrence, in Kansas to meet Father Emerson.


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah speeded down the highway, thinking about the two men she had left in the café. They couldn't know what she was. If they knew, they would be prone to attack from the demon as a way of trying to get to her. Even if that happened, she wouldn't take the bait. Sure, they were cute, but they weren't cute enough to risk her life. Breathing carefully, her senses prickled. The black Impala that was following her bike always remained the same distance behind her. No changes. Whoever was driving the car, were following her. Gritting her teeth, Sarah refused to feel nervous. If the demons had decided to follow her to her source, then she would have to take a detour to lose them. She definitely could not risk Father Emerson. Letting go of all thought, she slammed down her foot onto the accelerator. She sped forward and looked into her rear vision mirror to see if the car sped up. She was right. She was being followed, but by whom? Sarah stared at the open road. She would go to the nearest city and would try to lose them there. It wasn't safe to stop in the middle of nowhere with strange people following you. Strangely, she could detect no threat from the people in the car. She risked a look behind her. It was them. Sarah slammed her foot down on the brakes. Sliding off her bike, she stormed up to the car. Whipping her helmet off, she stared angrily at her stalkers.

"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled. "Why are you following me?" She stared at them, waiting for an answer.

Dean looked at his brother, as if asking for permission, before saying, "We were following you because we thought you were in danger."

"That's sweet, really, but I can take care of myself, thanks. Would you mind leaving me alone, now that you've seen that there is no one here except for me, Sam and you! In case you haven't realised, we are in the middle of nowhere!"

"We aren't the only ones following you," Sam said.

"Who else is following, then?" Sarah turned and looked around at her surroundings. It was then she saw the van pulled over by the side of the road up ahead of her. "Them?"

"Yeah, we noticed the van at the café, parked next to your bike," Dean said smugly, folding his arms over his chest.

Sarah looked closely at the van parked up ahead a few hundred meters. "I didn't notice that." Father Emerson was going to be so angry. She was getting slack. "What are you guys anyway, huh? Cops?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Something like that," Dean replied.

"That was a straight question and it requires a straight answer. Either you are or you aren't. Which is it?"

"We're not cops," Sam interrupted.

"Hmph. It would be better if you were," Sarah said thoughtfully. "Get out."

"What?" Dean asked.

"You heard me. Out."

"Why should we?"

Sighing in annoyance, she opened the door and pulled Dean out of the car. Slamming him up against his car, she tied his hands together and then his feet, ignoring his suggestive comments about bondage. She looked at Sam. "Do I have to do the same to you?"

"No," Sam looked at her with a confused look.

"Sit there," Sarah pointed to the side of the road.

"Dude, get me out of this," she heard Dean say to Sam.

"Don't worry; I'm not stealing your car- at least, not today anyway. I'm looking through it."

"What?" Sam stood up and started towards her. "There's nothing in there, really."

Sarah reached the boot of the car. Opening the boot up, she saw the duffle bag and an interesting array of weaponry. Staring at the bundle, Sarah pulled out the duffle bag. Sitting in the passenger seat, she opened it to find more weapons and rock salt. This was just what she needed. Men thinking they were 'man' enough to take on what they believed to be 'supernatural' beings. Posers. It was then she found the journal. Opening it up, she saw notes on hunting. Real authentic notes on: Strigas, Wendigos and malevolent spirits. Sighing, she flipped through the journal. "Not cops. Right, I believe you now."

"What you didn't before?" Dean accused.

"Excuse me for saying this, but you don't seem to be the truth telling type."

Sam snorted and said something that sounded like, "You have no idea."

"By the looks of things, you guys are hunters. Am I right?"

"You know about…," Sam breathed.

"Yeah, I do. I am one myself."

It was Dean's turn to laugh. "A girl? Hunting? Our hunting? HA!"

Sarah strode up to him and punched him hard across the face. Dean fell back with a thud before holding his nose in pain. "Is that so hard to believe? Did you honestly think that you and Sam were the only ones who know what's out there? I've been doing this since I was old enough to walk." She knelt down and untied him. She walked back to her bike. "Keep following me, I'll explain later when we get to Kansas."

"Sarah," Sam said, "we can't go there…"

"I have to meet someone, maybe you would know him? Father Emerson?"

"That old priest? I didn't know he was still alive," Dean asked in disgust.

"He taught me everything I know about demon hunting. He sent me to California on business. I have to go back to report. What's the next city we'll drive into on this road?"

"Uh, Carson City," Sam said pulling out a map from the under the dashboard.

"We'll meet there, after I've ditched my…uh, followers."

"Sarah!" Dean called. "Aren't you forgetting something?" he held out the rope she had used to tie him up.

"No, that rope is yours. I pulled it from the car when you weren't looking."

"No you didn't!" Dean laughed.

"Ok, I didn't. Take it as a memento; you never know when you might need it. Also it's my twisted way of saying sorry for tying you up."

Dean just gave her a smirk and shrugged.

Sam yelled to her, "Sarah, how will we find you?"

She looked back at Sam and replied, "I'll find you."

Sarah walked over to her bike and straddled the leather seat. She glanced back towards the Impala, to see if they were ready. Starting the bike, she looked forward to the van. She frowned as she saw the van cough into life. It was time to lose them. She squinted her eyes in concentration. She sped forward and tried to cut them off, it didn't work so she tried to swerve her bike to dodge the oncoming van. Sarah smiled in triumph- she was ahead of them now. She breathed evenly. Sarah then noticed the van was speeding up. So they knew she had caught onto them…they were trying to run her over. She smirked. They'd never run her over while she was on her bike. It was too fast and it was hard to hit. She matched the van's speed. Sarah stared at the distance- she could almost see Carson City already. She glanced at the sign by the side of the road. Carson City- 10 miles. So they were almost there. Could she trust the two men behind the van? She didn't know, but she did know that if they crossed her she would kill them. Whether they were demons or shape-shifter or even human, it made no difference. She hated traitors. Sarah resisted the urge to stop and save the human hosts of the demons, but she knew all hopes of saving the demon's poor prisoners were futile. Chances of survival after the exorcism of the demon inhabiting their body were slim to none at all. It gave Sarah small comfort to believe that someday the demon might not need their victim anymore and leave by themselves. She hoped. It was that she hated killing the victims left behind after the demon was destroyed. Most of the demons she destroyed always seemed to hurt their victims internally before leaving them- as if they knew it would hurt her to put them out of their misery. Though it wasn't always the case. Some survived. Sarah smiled at the thought. Sometimes the injuries to the humans were not sufficient to mortally wound them. Sometimes they made it through. Not her brother. She blinked away the angry tears that threatened to overcome her vision. She had been eight years old when her brother was possessed by a demon. Her father pleaded for her brother's release but the demon just laughed. He said he would never let Steven go. Steven was doomed. Father Emerson saved him before he died. Steven's soul would reach heaven, he told her. Neither Father Emerson or her father told her why the demon had possessed her brother. She had always thought that it was for the sake of it. Now she knew differently. Snapping herself out of her day dream, she realised that they had reached Carson City. Pushing down on the gas, she sped her bike forward. It was time to lose these freaks.


	3. Chapter 3

Sarah turned into an alleyway. The van wouldn't be able to follow her through here. She emerged at the end of the tunnel and turned left and sped down the street into the night. Now all she had to do was find Sam and Dean. The latter of course would annoy her due to his usual countenance towards women, she supposed. Breathing evenly, Sarah tried to meditate her thoughts into a consistent movement that would scry the city for Sam. Sam had an unusually high level of physic ability- that fact alone, surprised her sufficiently to know he had been through great pain- a demon, perhaps. Could there be a demon that she hadn't heard of? Somehow Sarah had always been able to sense the presence of supernatural beings. That was what confused her. She didn't feel a prickling on the nape of her neck, as she did with other malevolent beings. Surely they couldn't be human?

'Sarah, they probably are human and you're just too stubborn to admit it,' she told herself bitterly.

That didn't explain her sense of trauma and pain on Sam's behalf. Sarah thought about it. She had never felt that kind of pain until the accident. The accident. It bothered her to even think about it, but the childhood memories that she had banished from her consciousness came flooding back to haunt her.

Sarah was six. Her brother was eight. They were playing in the backyard when the accident happened. A kind-faced man appeared over the fence to ask if they wanted some candy. Steven told her to stay away, but Sarah stepped forward to take the offered candy from the big man's hand. The man pulled her towards him and lifted her over the fence. Little Sarah screamed. A hand clamped down over her mouth tightly.

"Don't scream, we don't want to make Mommy or Daddy worried now, do we?" the man whispered into her ear, his breath lingering on the nape of her neck.

Sarah's neck started to prickle in a peculiar way. This man was evil. Of that there was no doubt. She whimpered in fear as the man carried her away from her home to his den. The den was a cave, built into the rock face of a mountain.

Little Sarah listened to her brother's screams as he tried to get her father. Daddy would find her- she knew he would. Maybe if she was good for the evil man, he would let her go and she could be with Mommy and Daddy again. Somehow, she knew everything would turn out right. This man couldn't be that evil to take her away from her family for too long. It was dark in the den. There were knives and sharp utensils all over a stainless steel table that was dark with what looked like dried blood.

"That there, my dear, is for you," the man sneered, leering down at her.

Sarah shivered. The man thrust Sarah into a cupboard at the end of the cave. He left her there for three days.

Sarah snapped herself out her day dream. She was supposed to be scrying for Sam. Sarah kept her foot steady on the gas as the bike slowly made its way down the street. Making sure she was in tune with the bike and wouldn't crash, she let her mind fly over the bike, up higher as she searched. There he was. She smiled and made a quick assessment of his emotions. Everything was fine. He seemed worried for some reason. Shaking her head, Sarah turned her attention to the surrounding area. Seeing the street name she came back to her body on the bike. Speeding up on the pedal, she knew she would have to explain herself and what happened to her at the cave- if they were to help her at all. Eventually, she would tell them eventually. Only if she was forced to, would she resort to such desperate measures. Clenching her jaw, she saw the black car up ahead. She made her way over to them and slid off her helmet.

"Hey," she greeted them.

"How did you find us?" Dean asked apprehensively.

"That's for me to know and for you to keep your bloody mouth shut," Sarah snapped. She had never liked talking about her powers. People always thought she was a freak.

Sam stepped in, "Anyway, Sarah, don't you think we should find somewhere to talk- less openly?"

Sarah smiled; it seemed Sam was quite the peacemaker. "Fine. Where would you suggest?"

"There's one just up the road," Dean suggested.

"Ok, then. Meet you there," Sarah made her way to her bike, fortunately not noticing the way Dean's eyes watched her hips sway slightly, as she walked.

When they reached the motel, Sarah was quite tired and didn't feel like talking, so it was perfectly natural for her to be crabby. Right now, she was sitting on a pillow lying on her stomach in a room. It was room number 3- her lucky number.

"So tell me what you want to know," she said, picking at her teeth with her pocketknife. She watched Dean eye her in obvious distaste. Obviously he didn't like girls on his own turf. Territorial bastard.

"Where were you between the hours 8pm and 10 pm?" Sam said.

"I was at the old warehouse, by the river near the mill. I was meeting a demon who I was tracking. As it turned out, he was also aware of me. I should've known he would try to infiltrate the warehouse with his kind. It was so simple- I overlooked it." Sarah sat up and ran a hand through her hair. "Father Emerson told me no mistakes this time, shit. I have to go back and finish it," she stood up to leave.

"Sarah, you can't go back now, the demon would have left by now," Dean said grabbing her arm gently.

Sarah shook him off. "I hate not finishing a job- I'll scry for him here," she sat down and closed her eyes.

Dean and Sam exchanged looks. "Sarah?"

She opened one eye, "What?"

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" At their blank faces, Sarah continued, "I'm scrying for the demon."

Dean laughed before saying in agitation, "That's what I thought she said."

"It's true, that's how I found you." Sarah closed her eyes and stopped mid-scry. He couldn't be. He wouldn't be. "He's already at Kansas," she murmured in dismay. "He knew- he knew my next move, that's impossible! How could that be?"

"Your followers in the van?" Sam asked.

"No, I've lost them…wait." Sarah walked to her bag and pulled out her journal and started flipping through it. "I knew it. He's scried for me; he must have overheard my conversation with Father Emerson."

"That's impossible-" Dean started.

"No, no it's not. Only really powerful demons can scry for people- Sarah, what have you gotten into?" Sam asked.

Sarah took a deep breath. She knew this was coming. "I've been hunted all my life. I've hunted my own kind for all my mortal life. When I was six, I was abducted by a cradle snatcher. My dad never found me, till I showed up on his doorstep three years later."

"Your kind?" Dean asked angrily.

"I'm a demon…well a half demon actually. I was born mortal, the cradle snatcher was going to kill me but by the time he got around to doing it, I was already changed. I don't actually know what happened, though I do know I am not possessed. I killed the cradle snatcher and somehow made my way back home. Father Emerson saved me from the darkness that had consumed me. He taught me how to channel it to harness the power in the demon's strength. The church taught me to fight and hunt and I never looked back."

Dean suddenly came at her and slammed her up against the wall. "You're one of them?!" he yelled.

Sarah looked into his eyes and saw hate, anger and something else. Was it fear? She didn't fight back and took the blow coming to her. Dean's fist collided with her jaw and broke it. She reached up and cracked her jaw back into place with a grunt of pain. "I can still feel, Dean," she said softly. The hate in his eyes flickered to concern. She looked to Sam. He was just sitting there, his head down, as if in shame. "Sam?" she asked.

"Don't you talk to him!" Dean said protectively, hate returning to his eyes.

Sarah looked into his eyes and then looked away. There was too much hate and anger to allow for forgiveness. "I'm sorry." She took Dean's arm and released her from his grip on the wall. He moved like a robot. Sarah looked on in pity and in shame. She shouldn't have told them. No. She did the right thing to tell them the truth before she became too attached to them and them to her. She picked up her journal and packed it into her duffle bag. She didn't bother to worry about her safety; somehow she wished they would kill her. Sarah then mumbled one last farewell before closing the door behind her. She made her way to her room, next door. Dropping her belongings on an arm chair, she made her way to the bathroom and stripped off her clothes to get into the shower. Sarah sat on the floor of the shower and cried. Sarah knew in her heart that no matter where she went, she would always be shunned from other hunters and humans. The only other person she could trust was Father Emerson. Her own father couldn't cope with the new powers his daughter received after the accident. The loss of his only son was too hard to bear for him. On her eighth birthday, she woke up and her father was not to be found. He didn't even leave a note. She cried for weeks. Then Father Emerson took her in and fed her, clothed her. She had never looked back since that day.

"Sam, I don't think you understand," Dean said impatiently to his younger brother.

"I think I do, Dean. She has the powers we need to kill the demon, once and for all, she will help us- you know she will," Sam reasoned.

"Sam, she's a demon…She's one of them!"

"Ok, so she has some traits of a demon, but if she was truly one of them, she would've killed us by now."

"Oh and I suppose you're willing to chance it, huh?"

"Why tell us what she was, if she was truly trying to kill us then, why not try and hide it from us?"

"Save your life once and wait for another opportunity to kill you, once you're closer. They've done it before, Sam, you know that. I would've thought you would have sided with me on this one, with what happened to Jess."

"Sarah wasn't the one who killed her."

"How do you know that?"

"She felt different."

"So, you're relying on your physic powers are you? That's gonna be accurate."

"There must be some way we can test her- a fake exorcism of something."

"Hmph. That'd work."

"Shut it, Dean."

"Dude, all I'm saying is we shouldn't trust any of them, whether they be half breeds or not."

"I said, shut it," Sam snapped.

"Touchy…" Dean mumbled grudgingly.

Sam tried to think. If there was a way he could get Dean to trust Sarah. Maybe she would agree to a fake exorcism. But if she was half demon, then it would hurt her. There was only one way to find out.


	4. Chapter 4

Sarah woke to someone knocking on her door. Stepping onto the icy floor, she slowly made her way to the door. Opening the door, she was surprised to see Sam standing out on the pavement.

"Hey, Sarah," Sam greeted.

"Hey," Sarah replied, not knowing what to think about this strange meeting. "Can I help you with something?"

"Um…well, yeah. Yes, you can."

"Did you wanna come in or did you want me to step outside." She watched Sam raise his eyebrows, "It's alright- I know how you feel about someone like me. You don't have to lie to make me feel better."

"Actually, Sarah, I'd like for you to come back to our room. We need to talk."

She looked at Sam and then finally nodded her head. As Sarah walked past him, she caught whispers in her mind. Realizing what they were, Sarah blurted out, "I'm sorry, Sam. For your loss, I mean."

"How did you?" Sam looked puzzled and sad at the same time.

"I can pick up on people's emotions. I don't know what happened, but I can sense the loss all around you. Just like I could sense your brother's…"

"What?"

"He hates too much. He's the type of person who says they are ok, but they really aren't. I could sense it so much, it hurt."

"Can all demons do that?"

"Yeah, pretty much, though only the really advanced demons can read minds."

"Can you?"

"Yes. I try to use it only when I have to. A person's mind is a private place, where they can retreat from all the bad things happening around them. It should never be invaded like that."

"Oh," was all Sam said.

They had made it to the other apartment. Sam opened the door and Sarah followed him. She looked down. Rock salt. She smiled grimly before meeting Dean's eyes. She swiftly looked away, they burned her. Accused her of too many things. Like the boy. The boy. She sighed sadly. The boy she had never wanted to kill but had to.

"Don't pass out on me, kiddo," Sarah whispered to the eight year old boy, cradled in her arms.

"I won't. I'm ok, I think. Just let me stand up," Bobby said.

"No, you need to stay down, otherwise you'll faint."

"I want my mommy."

Tears welled in Sarah's eyes. The blood all over the floor was his. There would be no peace for him until the demon was expelled. Suddenly his eyes turned yellow and he started shaking.

"No matter where you go, I will always find you," the foreign voice said strongly.

"You can't let him die."

"Can't I?" The demon considered her for a moment before smirking. "Actually, I think I will."

"Why?"

"Because I can," he smiled.

"Please…" Sarah pleaded. Tears spilled down her cheeks as the demon tore the boy's body apart. There was now more blood all over the tiles. Then the demon left.

"Sarah?" the boy whispered.

Sarah looked at the boy's broken body feeling hollow and something close to numbness. "Ssh, Bobby, mommy will be here soon. Can you do something for me?"

The boy nodded painfully.

"Can you look at the wall for me, honey?"

"Ok," the boy said, with a weak smile, lighting up his face glad he could do something to help, finally.

Sarah mustered her strength. She grasped the dagger in one hand. Carefully she made her way to the boy. With a quick cut it was all over. Sarah slid down and hugged the boy tight, as if wishing she could bring him back, sobs racking her chest.

"Sarah?" Sam asked worriedly.

"Huh?" Sarah asked confused. Tears welled up in her eyes. One slid down her cheek. Any pain she could get would be retribution for the boy. Hating herself, she looked Dean in the eye. So much hate. Sarah had never felt so empty. Gathering herself together, she concentrated on what Sam was saying.

"Well, we were wondering…" he paused as if it would offend her.

"You were wondering if I was lying to you," Sarah said simply.

"Yeah."

"We can do the exorcism, if it'll make you feel better," Sarah snapped, hating herself.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Do I look like a pussy? Where do you want me?"

"We thought it would be best if you were on the bed," Sam said.

"Whatever," Sarah walked over to the bed with a raised eyebrow at Dean mockingly.

Dean tied her wrists too tightly. She felt the circulation in them start to feel fuzzy. She would not cave in and ask for them to be loosened. They needed to be tight. Sarah took a breath and waited patiently for the holy water. They poured it over her skin and Sarah felt her skin burning up under it. She wouldn't scream. She wouldn't scream. She clenched her hands into fists and bit back her screams. She tasted blood in her mouth. Then Sam started reading from a journal. Sarah arched her back in pain. Some part of her hoped that they would expel the powers from her body and send them to hell, another part of her wanted to hold on. Sarah held her breath for what was to come was much worse. She looked up at the ceiling before white pain seared through her as the exorcism was completed. She gazed at the ceiling with blank eyes before she blacked out.

"Are you happy now?" Sam asked furiously.

"As if it's my fault!" Dean yelled, looking down at Sarah's body. The way she had looked at him before the exorcism was weird. She hated herself that much was clear. He felt bad for hitting her. She was part human after all. He instantly felt guilty. Dean spun around with a last look at Sarah before stepping outside. She was so beautiful. Dean smacked his fist into the wall, making his hand bleed. He could never feel anything for her. She was one of them. She was a demon. She wasn't human. When she died, he supposed, she would be pulled to hell along with her powers. He couldn't afford to feel anything for her. She certainly wouldn't feel anything for him after what he did to her.

"Dean! She's waking up!" Sam called.

Shit. Dean walked back into the room. "How is she?" he asked, trying hard not to sound too eager.

"Untie me, I'm fine. Lemme up," said a still disorientated Sarah from the bed. Dean looked down at her. He did untie her but said to her protest, "You need to lie down for a bit before you get up, we don't want you falling over yourself."

Sarah's eyes glistened. "I can't do this anymore. I can't do it. Kill me, please…do it!" she yelled suddenly.

Dean jumped back as if burned. What? "No, Sarah. I can't."

"Please…" she whimpered, falling limp in his arms.

Sam looked at his older brother, "Are you satisfied?"

Dean nodded glumly, regretting his previous behaviour towards her. She was human; she just had some powers- that was it. He looked down pityingly at Sarah's now sleeping form. He knew that when she died, there would be no peace for her- she would go to hell, like all the other demons before her and she wouldn't have a choice in the matter.


	5. Chapter 5

Sarah opened her eyes after her third nightmare. She had to leave. She swung her legs up and hoisted herself up off the bed. She gasped in pain, the exorcism from the night before had hurt her badly and now she was suffering for it. It was worth it, she supposed, as the two brothers now believed her, she hoped. She snapped her head up in shock to see Dean come through the door with what she hoped was breakfast.

"Nice to see you're awake," Dean greeted gruffly.

"I have to go."

"Not till you've had some breakfast, we'll hit the road at eight."

"You can do that, I'm leaving now. Just give me an apple, if you're worried about breakfast," she grumbled. She hated getting up in the morning.

"I don't think so, you're staying with us," Dean said smugly, walking over to a chair and dumping the two bags into a chair.

"As if I am, I'm not your pet!" she said angrily.

"Not unless you want to be…" Dean said smirking.

"Trust me when I say, I'd rather die and go to hell," Sarah retorted.

Dean frowned. 'Oh great. Now he pities me,' Sarah thought glumly.

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier…" he trailed off and looked her in the eye. She was surprised to see the hate in his eyes had vanished and was left by sadness. That didn't mean it wasn't there still.

"About what happened earlier? You hitting me? Please…as if I can't take a hit, Dean. You know as well as I do that I'm tougher than that," she said uncomfortably. "Besides, you hit like a girl," she continued smugly.

He glowered at her for a moment at the insult, before shrugging. "Well I got breakfast."

"What did you get?"

"Bacon and eggs."

"Yum. I'll have that and coffee that's black with-"

"No sugar? I already got it."

She got up and went to the bags and opened her coffee.

"How are you feeling?"

She snorted in laughter. "That's funny, Dean. Real funny. I'm fine. I just got exorcised and I'm still alive, aren't I? I thought that was good news!"

He eyed her oddly.

She raised her eyebrow at him, while drinking her coffee. She skulled it down and scoffed down her bacon and eggs. When she finished, she said, "That's me done then, I'm off- see you in Lawrence. I have to get there as fast as possible. He's already there," her voice darkened as she spoke of the demon.

"We're coming with you."

"No you're not."

"Yes we are."

"Whatever, I'm leaving now," Sarah walked out the door and slammed it for good measure. She packed her stuff into the compartment on the back of her bike and gave her key to the hotel manager. She supposed she should say goodbye to Sam, but if her assumptions were correct, she didn't want another sentimental guy asking if she was fit to ride. At least they believed her. Maybe now, she had an ally. Maybe in Sam, but she still wasn't sure about Dean. She frowned distastefully. She didn't like him at all. He was hitting on her and didn't even know her. She pushed her bike faster. If the demon was there, it was bad news for her and for Father Emerson. He might be in danger.

Sarah leaned on her bike and waited outside the old church building. Where were they? Dean and Sam were supposed to be here an hour ago and Sarah didn't know if they were late often or they were in trouble, so she decided while she was waiting for Father Emerson, she would scry for them. Breathing evenly, Sarah stole a quick glance to her surroundings. From what she could gather, she was in no immediate danger. The two brothers however, she didn't know. She had followed their progress all the way through the long ride to Lawrence. Her last check was half an hour ago. Sarah breathed a sigh of relief; apparently they had stopped at a service station for some fuel and noticed something was wrong with their car. They would be with her in ten minutes, she had guessed. She noticed the church doors were now open and Father Emerson stood nearby greeting the now departing worshippers. Slowly she made her way to him cautiously. She didn't want to alarm the members of the congregation. Patiently she waited for the entire congregation to leave before she approached him.

"Father Emerson," Sarah greeted, hugging the old man.

"Sarah, my daughter, how are you?" the old man replied brightly.

"I'm fine."

"How was your mission?" he asked, his tone suddenly turning more serious.

"That's why I'm here, Father. The demon set up a trap for me at the suggested hideout and I didn't see it. I almost didn't make it out."

"Sarah, you know that that mission was vital for the next step in the plan," Father Emerson warned.

"There's more. The demon is here- in Lawrence. It knew my next move. Father, how could it have known I was coming here?"

"I don't know my child, but you must be careful. Our society cannot risk losing you- you're too vital to our plans. For all we know, you could ultimately change the outcome in this war."

"I know, Father," Sarah bowed her head in submission. Personally, she couldn't see how she, of all people, could change the outcome of the war. She was almost apart of them, she realised with a shudder.

"As for your failure, I am very disappointed."

Sarah's shoulders slumped. "I won't fail this time. I will hunt it down," she said firmly raising her eyes in determination.

"You, my dear daughter are so like your mother. She was always so determined to finish the job."

"Father?" Sarah asked confused.

"Your mother was apart of our organisation before she met your father, who was also one of our members. I'm surprised I didn't tell you that before, my child. Must be my age, finally catching up with me…" he shook his head solemnly.

Sarah laughed. "I'm sure age has nothing to do with it, Father," she frowned. "If dad was apart of the organisation then why did he abandon me, knowing what he knew?"

"I can't possibly know…but I do know that after your mother's death, he had so much difficulty adjusting. Then after what happened up on the mountain, he didn't cope very well…I believe at the time, Sarah, he felt it was his fault that you got taken and he could not bear to look at you with the knowledge that you would never enter the gates of Heaven, with your peculiar situation."

Sarah felt tears prick at her eyes. "So he would rather abandon me to the organisation rather than be with me while I live? Is that how little he thinks about me? Never mind, Father, I am composed," she wiped at her eyes, pushing back the years of sadness over her neglect. "Any hope for me yet?"

"None, I'm afraid. We could try an exorcism, but that could potentially risk your life. We don't know how to deal with it. There has never been someone like you before. I have reason to believe that you, my dear, are God's gift to us in this war."

"And I will be punished for it- for all past mistakes committed. There will be no resurrection for me when I am finished."

"Don't lose hope, my child. God works in mysterious ways."

"So they say…" Sarah said morbidly.

"You must have faith, without faith there can be no resurrection for you at all," Father Emerson said concerned.

Sarah heard a car pull up in front of the church. She looked up to see Dean's car. Smiling in relief she said, "Father Emerson, I'd like for you to meet Dean and Sam Winchester, they used to live here when they were young. Do you remember them?"

"Do I remember the Winchesters? How could I not remember those trouble starters," Father Emerson grumbled. His tone turned sympathetic when he noted, "That was only after their poor mother died. Murdered, I believe. Some said it was their father who killed Mary, but we knew better. She was killed by a demon, when Sam was six months old."

"Oh," Sarah said feeling guilty.

"Don't feel guilty, it wasn't you who killed her," Father Emerson said patronizingly.

They observed Dean as he strutted over to them.

"He's quite arrogant, isn't he?" Father Emerson said with a twinkle in his eye.

"He sure is…" Sarah agreed, bursting into laughter. "Dean, I'm glad you made it, this is Father Emerson. Father Emerson, this is Dean Winchester, all grown up."

Father Emerson eyed Dean and Dean eyed the little priest with contempt.

"I remember you," Dean said gruffly, holding out his hand for the priest to shake.

"I remember you too…what was it? The stink bomb after that Easter with the Forsters? Or was that your brother?" Father Emerson grasped Dean's hand firmly.

Dean blushed slightly. "That was me…I'm surprised you would still remember that."

"I'm not senile yet, you useless prat!" Father Emerson said loudly.

Sarah burst into fits of laughter. Dean glared at her. Seeing Sam she said to Father Emerson, "This is Sam, Dean's younger brother. Sam this is Father Emerson."

Father Emerson looked at Sam with fondness before saying how pleased he was that Dean had someone responsible to look after him. Sam had not been able to stop laughing for five minutes while Dean fumed in silence.

"Stupid senile old man," Dean muttered under his breath.

Sam laughed and replied, "Oh come on, Dean. You can't deny there is some truth to what he said. I am more responsible than you are."

"No you're not."

"Can you tell me a time where you were more responsible than me?"

Dean raised his hand as if to start counting and Sam laughed again.

"See?"

"What? I'm thinking," Dean said defensively.

"You're just disappointed because Sarah was laughing at you," Sam said blankly.

"As if I was!"

"You were so. You could see it on your face."

"I was not."

"Were too."

"Were not."

"Were too."

Dean frowned at gripped the steering wheel. They had just left the church and were now headed for a motel. Sarah was following them on her bike. "Whatever," he grumbled.

Sam smirked in victory. Dean ignored Sam and just clenched his teeth harder.


	6. Chapter 6

Sarah looked down at the map that Sam had before him. "What did you want me to do about it?"

"I would have thought it was obvious," Dean interjected sullenly.

"You're the only person that we know of, that can help us," Sam pleaded, ignoring Dean.

"I don't know if I can do that. From what you've told me, this demon is pretty powerful. Hell, he might even be good ole Lucifer himself. Even I can't go against him. You can't fight fire with fire. You need something else. All I'm good for is tracking the bastards down!" Sarah exclaimed angrily.

"You've tracked them down before, haven't you?" Sam accused.

Sarah looked down at the ground. "That was a long time ago. I was stupid thinking I could take it on by myself."

"You're not alone now," Dean pointed out.

Sarah looked at him. "All I've got with me is two mortals who are about to bite off more than they can chew," she paused. "I can't risk it finding me again."

"What happened?" Sam asked.

She turned her gaze to Sam's. "What is that you want to hear? That I tracked it down? That I ended up killing a little boy for my troubles?! Is that it? I did all those things, all against my will. If I couldn't fight it what makes you think you can?!" Sarah stood up and left the tiny motel room.

"That went well…" Dean said.

"Shut up, Dean!" Sam yelled before following Sarah outside.

Dean sat back on the bed and rested his head on the wall thinking about the way Sarah had reacted to their idea. Something had obviously happened to her while tracking the demon down. Something to do with a little boy. Dean let his thoughts all float away as he dreamed of her.

"Sarah, wait!" Sam yelled, running to catch up with Sarah.

She stopped and slowly turned around, "What Sam?"

"I need to do this. For me. For Jess."

Sarah looked down at the ground, "What happened to you, Sam? Once kind and loving, yet now seeking revenge? That's too much hate for one person alone. You have to let it go."

"I will let it go- just not yet. I have to do this, Sarah. Please."

"I'll see what I can do, Sam. All I know is this- it will end badly."

"I know, Sarah. I know."

"We can't go into this without a plan, if what you believe about this demon and the one I was hunting before, are the same thing- then we're in trouble. I have to talk with Father Emerson," Sarah said, turning away from Sam.

"You call Father Emerson- I'll get Dean," Sam walked away, leaving Sarah in the darkness.

"Father Emerson, it's me, Sarah," Sarah spoke into the public phone receiver outside the motel. Sunny Heights- it was called. Somehow the future for Sarah did not seem as bright for her as she would like.

"Sarah? What are you doing calling this number?" he answered angrily.

"I'm sorry, Father. I would not have called if it hadn't been an emergency. The Winchesters, they found out that the demon killed their mother. They have reason to believe that the demon in California and the one who killed Mary are the same thing. What are my orders?"

Father Emerson's voice became cold, "I always knew you were smart, Sarah. But didn't I tell you that I would always find you- no matter where you ran? I knew you cared for this sad excuse for a priest- just like I knew where you would run to next. I thought I'd follow you here for a welcome home party," the voice spat venomously.

Sarah froze in terror, "What do you want from me?"

"What do I want? Sarah, of all things that I want; death, starvation and hell on earth- I want you and your powers."

"Whatever powers I have can be of no more power to you than they are to that boy you made me kill. I will not release evil into the world."

The thing laughed, "You cannot fight it, Sarah. It is in your blood. You are one of us. One day you will have to accept that or our master himself will not accept you. You know Heaven will never accept you for what you are."

"I am resigned to that fact. I will not stand by and watch the people I care about suffer for your cause."

"But what if, Sarah, you had no one to care about?"

She choked back tears. It was going to kill Father Emerson. "Father Emerson, I won't let them keep you- I promise," she said, slamming the phone down. After scrying for him, she hopped on her bike and ignoring Sam's protests, she rapidly accelerated down the street.

"Where did she go?!" Dean demanded of a bewildered Sam.

"I don't know. She said she was going to call Father Emerson and then she just took off on her bike." Sam ran a hand through his hair.

"Maybe she went to the church. C'mon, we're going." Dean got up from the bed and stormed out of the motel room. He tried to swallow his rising panic. Sarah might be the only person who could help them kill the demon. They needed her- much as he hated to admit it. Dean gritted his teeth angrily. Why did she have to go and do this? They could've at least all gone together and maybe they wouldn't be in this situation. Wrenching open the door to his car, he got in and waited impatiently for Sam to get in. "Hurry up, Sammy!"

Sarah jumped off her bike and ran up the church steps. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside the church and walked down the aisle. Quietly, she looked around for Father Emerson's body. Finding no one, Sarah sighed almost about to give up. If the demon wanted Father Emerson, then he would no doubt manage to have him. Tears stung her eyes. How many people did she see get hurt because they were dumb enough to get close to her? Why would Father Emerson take such a risk?

'_Because he thought you would be worth dying for,'_ a voice whispered in her mind.

'I am a demon…of all the creatures on the planet I am not worthy to die for,' she thought bitterly.

'_I did love you, Sarah. I loved you like a daughter.'_

Tears slid down her cheeks and her body slumped to the floor. Sobs racked her body as those words rand around her head. 'Demons cannot be loved…they can only cause hate and pain.'

'_You are only half demon- as much as you hate to remember, you still are part human.'_

'But I am going to Hell anyway- for the sin of being part demon.'

'_Not all fates are set in stone. Yours is just beginning.'_

'Who is this? Are you a demon?'

'_I would've thought you knew, Sarah. I am Father Emerson.'_

'That's impossible. Humans cannot talk to others with their minds.'

'_What if I told you I was not human?'_

'Then what are you? An angel?' Sarah curled her lip in distaste. Angels had always looked down upon her during meetings for being a demon. They did not trust her and she trusted no one.

'_No,' _the voice chuckled, _'I am just like you.'_

'How?'

'_What happened to you on that mountain happened to me also. I did not want to tell you this for another five years, but I suppose it must be now…I do not have much time. The demon will keep my body to traumatize you, Sarah, so be wary. Next time you see my body, you must not be taken in by how much it talks like me, smells like me. It is a lie. It will kill you if you let it. Promise me you will not let it kill you.'_

'I promise. What are we?'

'_The things I am about to tell you, you must never repeat- except for maybe Dean and Sam. They are protected by some power I know not of. As for what we are, we are the guardians of the crossroad. We were created more powerful than any other demon. This was because of our human side. Because of it, we were able to feel remorse for our actions and try to make amends. You guide the souls of the dead to Heaven and Hell. Mostly, you lead them to Heaven. Very rarely these days you find someone evil enough for Hell.'_

'If I am leading the spirits of the dead to Heaven, what am I doing here?'

'_We are in a war, Sarah. You know this. You have been temporarily taken from your post to fight.'_

'On which side? I have my feet steeped into both.'

'_You must choose. I must go now, Sarah. This is my final goodbye. Kill me on our next meeting- or I will be forced to kill you. Do not make me make that mistake.'_

'I don't think I could do it, Father.'

'_You must. No one else can. You are the strongest defence we have. I am fading now- I have used all my strength for this talk- do not let it go to waste. Never forget that I will always love you, my daughter.'_

'I love you, Father. I won't forget. Rest now, rest in peace. I will come and take you home.' There was no reply from Father Emerson. He had gone. Sarah took a deep breath in. Time seemed to have passed so quickly. She must have been here for hours. Something caught her attention. Voices. Keeping low, she crawled to the side of the church and began to climb quietly up the wall. From high up, the church looked very different. Her eyes watched attentively for the movement she was sure would come. She was right. Just coming through the entrance doors, were Dean and Sam. Sarah let out the breath she had been holding. They were idiots to come here. She grinned evilly; maybe she would just have to teach them a lesson. She continued to climb up onto the roof. Hanging upside down, she let go and landed straight in front of the two men. They held up a gun. Oh, shit…Sarah ducked.

"Hey, guys! It's just me!" Sarah said laughingly from behind a marble column.

"How do we know if it's really you?" Dean asked.

"I was born on the 18th of February 1984. I am female. My father left me when I came back when I was taken by Cradle Snatcher on my sixth birthday. It was there that I changed into what I am now. You and your brother Sam are looking for the demon that killed your mother when you were children. Enough for you?"

"That's basic fact, anybody who is trying to kill us or you knows that," Sam scoffed.

"Do you think that they'll know that Dean has a freckle just below his left butt cheek?"

Sam burst into laughter at that comment.

"How did you know?" Dean spluttered, turning bright red.

"I have my ways," Sarah replied smugly. "So do you believe me now?"

"Yeah, we believe you," Sam said.

Sarah came out from behind the column and leant against the cool marble. She closed her eyes and felt them watching her. She cracked open one eye and glared at them. "What?"

"You just left- without telling us where you were going. You can't do that if you expect us to protect you," Dean said simply.

Sarah laughed. "That's sweet, Dean…and Sam but really after that episode, do you really think that I can be killed that easily?" she asked raising one eyebrow.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

Sarah frowned. "Father Emerson has been taken, by our demon. I have to find him. I can't scry for him now for some reason."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm part demon after all. Kind of makes it hard to get close to people," Sarah said bitterly. "I have to tell you guys something."

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"Not now, when we get back. I'll explain everything." Sarah walked towards the exit.

Somehow, she knew everything would be okay.


End file.
